Pay for me, Pay for me!

So I walk my boys to school. When I go to pick up my eldest I leave early. I take my time, weave through the streets, get my cardio on and arrive early so I can sit under a tree and read while the other two nap in the stroller. I love this time. One afternoon I walked into a conversation between two people. I did not know these people nor did I feel like meeting anyone new, so I sat on the other end of the tree and took out my book. I should have gone to another tree. This is how the conversation went- Man says to lady, “It’s just easier for me to stay home; the jobs out there demand too much for not enough money.” Lady, “I know what you mean, it’s tough.” Man, “I mean why shouldn’t these people that have disposable income support me? If they have extra money it’s their right as human beings to contribute to me. I can’t make money to support me and mines so they should help out.” Then this is when it gets great, the dude turns to me and brings me in to the conversation. He says, “I hope I am not offending you but since you are of privilege, you should feel guilty and want to help me out.” WTF is what ran through my head but it’s not OK to lose it on randoms. I said, “No you’re not offending me bc the opinions of strangers don’t matter to me but answer me this why do you assume I am of privilege?” He answered bc I live in this neighborhood. OK. I chose this time to get up and just walk away. Whenever I get so annoyed that I can’t hear bc my heart is beating so loud in my ears it is just better to walk away.
This is the type of mentally that seems to be taking over... everywhere. I have lost a really good job. I had to collect unemployment to get by. I was not able to find a job where I would be making money after paying for daycare. We rearranged, budgeted and made it work. We certainly don’t have expendable income in any way shape or form. If we needed me to, I would not hesitate to go get a part time job wherever while Marc was home and could stay with the kids. There is nothing below me when it comes to providing for my kids. While I get that it’s tough (again been there done that) to freely use that as an excuse to receive entitlements is infuriating. What makes it worse is his extreme belief that he DESERVES me to take care of him. Um, sorry buddy. If you are able to go and get a job you should. Period. I am all for helping those that NEED help but these days those that are claiming to “need” help really just need to be taught the art of not being lazy- THAT is what they suffer from- EXTREME LAZINESS!
I am scared for the world that my boys are going to grow up in. It’s becoming a place filled with people that are not taught the feeling of accomplishment that comes with hard work and how truly wonderful it feels to EARN something. You appreciate things when you have to earn them. My 1st car was the biggest piece of crap ever, but it was mine- all mine. I babysat and did extra chores and I earned that Isuzu I-mark. I loved that car and more importantly I felt empowered that I did it on my own. This new world is not a world where those are the lessons being taught. It’s a place where people are being taught to feel they are owed. (Whether it’s by actually being taught to be that way or learning it by just watching the examples of their caretakers) No one takes accountability for themselves anymore. It’s always about what you “feel” you deserve and not about what you should strive to achieve. There are no more consequences for anything it seems like. You don’t feel like working? Don’t worry someone, somewhere will take care of you. Sickening.

Let’s revisit…

Dear “It takes a village to raise a child” parent,

In my village we teach manners. When I constantly have to tell your child, "please don’t do that" it means in a nice way to knock it the hell off. I have my hands full enough walking my three to school without loosing my mind, so I really don’t need your child to supervise as well (which I HAVE to do since you are not and I don’t need the guilt of your kid getting hit by a car on my conscience). I understand kids will be kids, I get that, but it seems like allot of these kids are stuck up little brats who think they deserve it all without permission. Don’t try to get into my five year olds backpack or see what he is taking for lunch. 1- we don’t know you very well and 2- it’s obnoxious. Don’t try to steal the baby’s puffs from his snack try, it’s rude. And you have been warned- Stay away from the middle one bc when he turns on you and beats you the hell up I am going to let him. I know that sounds harsh but jeez.
So dear “PARENT” teach your child so that I don’t have to be rude to an elementary school age kid who’s presence on my morning walks is something I am starting to fear.
END RANT

Still applies to me almost on a regular basis. 

Isn't it moronic

So one of the things that is most troubling to me is the people who are walking, living paradoxes. I use to call them hypocrites or bigots but now have come to the realization that they are just epitomes of irony. Here is where I digress… It’s no secret that we eat cleanly. We both take pride in our nutrition and honestly just enjoy the overall feeling that comes with eating healthy. It really has become quite the irritant when people start preaching the latest fad diet to me or try and school me on the benefits of all things organic, even the JUNK FOOD. The flip side to that (I will get to that in a minute) is that usually said people have no idea WHY they are eating what they are eating. This is just FUN. I love to question and have come to enjoy when they can’t answer me. Anyway back to the beginning statement before I warned of impending digression. I was once over at an acquaintances’ house. She was on a no preservatives kick. She went on and on about why homemade certain dishes were a MUST in her house bc of the dangers of preservatives. And on and on…. zzzzzz. Open refrigerator door. I SWEAR people after this long and windy blah blah rant on preservatives she pulled out a PRE-packaged tub of Hillshire Farms (non organic) Oven Roasted Turkey slices. I almost fell out. I have never had such a difficult time controlling myself. I thought maybe it was a joke. Seriously home girl had to be joking, right? Nope it was my friend IRONY flaunting her cruel ass in my face. It was in that moment that all the little, I only feed my kids this, or my kid only eats that, sermons came flashing in front of me. It was followed by glimpses of subtle contradicting actions. I walked away from said meeting realizing me and chica would probably not be hanging out again. Why oh why do people not educate themselves when standing on a soap box? Hell even a little. You should know WHY you do things a certain why and make sure if you are being all, well in my house, you understand the concept of follow through. Diets, like most things in life, are a personal thing. What works for me may or may not work for you. No biggie. I won’t preach to you but please don’t find this as an open invitation to preach to me, especially when you don’t have a clue as to what you are talking about.

The Art of Disciplining

I am not saying beat your children. Leaving bruises is no bueno people. If popping works for you more power to you. Sometimes it’s effective other times it’s not. I do believe that a disciplined child is worth his or her weight in gold. Kids that are mindful and respectful are so few and far between these days. It’s sad. What’s sadder is that parents want to be friends and not parents. Here are some things I have done/do bc although we are strict and have rules, popping is not always our go to.

The get-a-long shirt. My boys are at that age. Sometime they just like to fight. I let it go until it becomes violent. I put them in one of PaPa’s t-shirts, facing each other, and give them a task in which they must work together to achieve. Super effective.

Take away points from their earnings on the chore chart. This means they have to do more to earn the much anticipated treasure box trip! I will write another day about the chore chart. Taking away something they see as tangible is effective.

You've heard the saying "Hold your tongue!" Well I have made Madman do it-literally. He talked back once in a very ugly ugly way so I made him stick out his tongue and hold it between his two fingers. He has since rethought the whole talking back thing, for now anyway.

I let them have temper tantrums or random meltdowns. I tell MO, I mean whoever, to go to his room to continue his fit. He isn't allowed to come out and has to keep crying and screaming for 10 minutes. Ten minutes is an awfully long time, and it's no fun if your parents tell you to cry.

Goes with above but I have mimicked him. It normally ends in him laughing and calling me silly and then we hug it out.

Madman has been licked before. WTF you say? Seriously it embarrass them bc it’s weird and when you explain your were embarrassed by whatever they did, they relate AND REMEMBER.

Follow through… We have many times said, that’s it when you get home it’s the time out spot for you or whatever. Even if they shape themselves up when we get home whatever punishment was imposed is enforced.

We have a time out spot. Worked better when they were younger but the threat is still real and makes them stop and listen.

We do not warn over and over and over and over again. Come on…. Obviously your kid doesn’t listen or isn’t getting it. DO SOMETHING.

We always ask the boys after being punished if they understand WHY they were punished. We talk about it, explain things. We tell them it doesn’t mean we don’t love them and that they aren’t “bad.” We don’t say bad. We say made the wrong choice or something to that effect. We have some pretty amazingly obedient boys and I am proud to say it is because they are disciplined. They aren’t afraid of us. They trust us whole heartily and know without a doubt that they are irrevocably loved. So discipline isn’t a bad and scary thing. Life is full of consequences to actions and the little people in our lives need to learn that.

Coming undone at the seams

I once had a new wife tell me she needed my help bc she was sooooo overwhelmed. What’s the problem you ask? You should be there to help your fellow military spouse while hubs is deployed Ayme. Well before you throw stones at me let me add the following. I at the time had a newborn, actually he was like 4 months old, and 2 other boys under the age of 5. SHE was a stay at home wife. No outside job. She had someone that came and cleaned her house. Not kidding she didn’t own a vacuum or a swifter! She had no pets. And the neighborhood literally did her lawn and took out her trash cans for her. Brought her dinners, took her out and looked in on her. I didn’t know what to say. Honestly her “overwhelmed” statement left me speachless. I have done 2 deployments in this house. Both deployments I was pregnant, one of those I delivered. No-one even OFFERED to make me dinner. I was never overwhelmed (maybe it was bc I was so tired from surviving). My point is, be aware of other people around you and what they are going through. Don’t solicit sympathy. It takes a lot to ask for help but be careful how you ask. I honestly could have empathized with her if she hadn’t acted like she was the first person on the planet to deal with a deployed husband. I would have been more helpful if I wasn’t so nauseated by all the volunteers to aide this poor helpless creature. At the end of the day she can do her and I will do me. I guess that I should be happy that I am not seen as this frail flower that needs someone next to me every step of the way but rather as a fiercely independent WOMAN who can hold her shit together at all times! Yeah, I am going with THAT!

Commercials are AWESOME

Madman came to me in all seriousness this morning saying he needed to talk to me… uuhhh ohhh.  He said, “I was watching TV…” (HERE WE GO)”….and I think we need to get you some Kaboom.  It makes cleaning a breeze Mama.  You just spray it on and when it turns white you wipe it off.  Just like that!  Easy Breezy!  You should get some!”

I find it beyond amusing that  my son immediately thinks I am worthy of an easier cleaning product and not that forevermark center of the universe diamond who’s add is always playing during the holidays!  

Things I NEVER would have thought I'd say.

Before becoming a mom I knew that some phrases would become second nature to me. Because I said so or wait until I tell your dad were sentences that I was certain would easily roll off my tongue. Whelp, I don't say those as much as I say these...

I just want to Pee alone.
Why aren't you wearing pants?
Please don’t stand at the storm door while not wearing your pants.
Touch your toes so that I can wipe your butt.
Okay, I will give you 3 M&Ms, 2 stickers and a bowl of raisins if you put your coat on right now!
Please stop wiping your butt on the carpet!
Is today Tuesday?
Do I smell poop?
Wait let me smell your butt!
Don’t eat the dog food.
No, we don’t eat rocks!
Stop squeezing the baby!
Yes, replacing each word in “Jesus loves me” with “poop” is hilarious, but I’m not going to sing it that way.
Stop making yourself burp.
I don't care that the Nija Turtles eat pizza every night, you are having chicken.

Underways….

Want to know a random day in the life of a NAVY wife while hubby is off playing sailor? Here are some snippets form A day, yes ONE day, email to MarcS during our last underway. (we have just started another one so more will come I am sure!)

...This afternoon I had to reprimand Maddox for 1 being rude to the crossing guard and then telling me he just doesn't care. Not fun. Did the dog food amidst a Braxton random meltdown. Not a problem there. Made a snack. MO of course continued the meltdown, madman ate both sandwiches, yes a PBJ sandwich. Anyway dogs out, come in start homework THEN Shoka puked A LOT. I mean a shit ton. Even Mad was like Gosh Mama that’s a lot. GGGGGAAAaAaRRROOOSSSS. Then I hear a scream go into the bathroom (where btw the door and toilet were accidentally left open) to find Broox not only playing is said Open toilet but stuffing a new roll of toilet paper into the toilet. Stopped cleaning puke, cleaned the baby, go back to puke, back to the toilet to dig out the toilet paper, then just to make things fun MO came in and peed on the wall bc I was in the way. Yup. They are in the nursery now and I am laying on the couch reliving the evening.
Baaaaa sent the last too soon.... to add- Mad just flipped MO off the rocking chair and Broox was eating a used diaper. Let the party continue!
Ahhhhh how can this get ANY better you ask, baby knocked over the toy basket in the bathtub causing the glass break sensor to activate causing the ever-so-comforting alarm to go off. Then for the rest of the night Mad was afraid that his brothers were going to go to jail bc they weren’t listening.

I KNOW that above is trivial compared to “real” problems and I am very lucky to not have those “real” problems. But sometimes these small occurrences back to back can make it a little overwhelming. Anyway when the hubs got home he explained that my detailed email of my day brought much needed laughter to his colleagues. You’re welcome Safety and Medical you’re welcome!