I am going to get some nasty looks for this one…

You think YOUR kid is the cutest? Of course you do. I understand that you think your kid is cute and I’m going to continue letting you believe that.

Now please give me something in return, if any of the information below pertains to you, please stop trying to convince me that you have the cutest, bestest, smartest child in the world. I don’t think your kid is cute or smart. Really. I don’t. Besides the fact that I have my own flesh and blood that I adore more than any relevance you could ever bring to my life, here are a few other reasons.

You have to think that your screaming monster of a child is a precious, one-of-a-kind wonder. Otherwise, I imagine you would look in the mirror and ask yourself, “How did my life go so terribly terribly wrong?” The thing is I don’t need to get in on this justification. No, I don’t think YOUR kid is the cutest whatever EVER. I am totally acting when I’m smiling and nodding my head at your ridiculous statements. It’s by no means an accurate reflection of what is going on in my mind. Honestly even if by chance you showed me a decent photo of your way to coddled spawn, Whiney McWhinesallot’s past behavior and your lack of situational awareness would prevail and I could never in right mind see your child as cute.
Want to know the truth? Other people can’t love your kid as much as you do. You might think your kid jumping up and down in an airplane or restaurant booth is your child being social or that having a nuclear meltdown in the mall is it expressing it’s feelings. You deem this behavior as cute but the truth is- nobody else does. In fact, this behavior that you think is soooooo cute makes others, or maybe just me, so angry that I have to hold back every urge in my body not to lose my mind and verbally attack you for the annoyance your delusion is causing me.
When your brat of a child acts like this, I get you think it is age appropriate but do you ever think it’s anything other than cute to the other people that have to share your surroundings? No! Seriously, the stares of distain aren’t getting their point across? OK well maybe this post (if you ever read) will help. I would flat out say get real but it is obvious reality escapes you. At this point nothing will make you take of your rose colored glasses when it comes to your not cute or that smart kid but I ranted and got it out so it doesn’t matter. I feel better.